


she's the sea i'm sinking in

by youlostyourmindinthesound



Category: Girls Like Girls - Hayley Kiyoko (Music Video)
Genre: Coley has social anxiety, Coley will steal yo girl, Don't smoke kids, F/F, First Kiss, First Meeting, First Time, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Girls Like Girls - Freeform, IT CAUSES CANCER, Lesbian Relationship, Mentions of alcohol, Non-Graphic Smut, Sonya is a sweetheart, and Sonya is her hero, and then later she falls in love, and we know what happens after that, mentions of smoking, middle school bebs, they're bffs, they're super gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-04-28
Packaged: 2018-10-24 23:39:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10752162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youlostyourmindinthesound/pseuds/youlostyourmindinthesound
Summary: They meet in the school bathroom.





	she's the sea i'm sinking in

**Author's Note:**

> I just found out there was a fandom for this ship!!!!! I am so happy you don't even understand.  
> This fic came so easily to me, I wrote it in a few hours so I hope there are no mistakes.  
> I fell in love with those girls when the music video came out (even though they're both disney babies which felt a bit weird with all the intense sexual tension omg)  
> I headcannon Coley as _super_ gay and Sonya is demisexual. Like, I imagine a super monogamous demi Sonya that is so in love with Coley but is all confused and sees herself as straight and also hates herself a little because she's supposed to be with Trenton????? And she doesn't want to cheat and hurt him?? (and that's why she doesn't really seem to like him that much in the video because they never formed an emotional bond)  
>  Okay I'll stop now  
> I hope you enjoy!

The first day of junior high is the day Coley’s life changes forever. It sounds cliché, but there’s no other way to put it.

New in town, starting school a month later than everyone else, shy and awkward with legs too skinny and chest too flat. It’s torture to climb out of her mother’s car and watch her drive away, limbs heavy with dread as she passes through the entrance to her new school.

Her homeroom teacher makes her stand in front of the class and introduce herself. She can barely get her name out and feels her stomach tighten at the snickers she receives. Are they laughing at her name? Her second-hand clothes? Then the teacher says: “Tell us something about yourself Coley.”

Something like fear washes cold over her body as she tries to think of something to say. Something about herself? What does she have to say? Boring, boring Coley whose mother divorced her cheating father and made her move across the country. Boring, boring Coley who’d had no friends before she left anyway, nothing interesting about her to begin with.

So she mumbles out something about how she likes to read before walking quickly to her desk with her hot face to the ground.

Three periods in and Coley’s body feels like it’s coming apart at the seams. She constantly checks the clock, waiting, _waiting_ , for the bell to signal lunch. As soon as it does, she’s out of the door and down the hall, swinging herself into the girls’ bathroom and locking herself in a stall before anyone can question her.

Then she cries. Slides to the floor and stuffs a fist in her mouth to stop the sobs from reaching any judgemental ears. Her face burns with tears, sticky and blotchy red, gross. She feels like she should skip the rest of the day; just stay locked in the bathroom, crying like a child until she can go home and tell her mom that she’s never coming back.

She hears the bathroom door being pushed open and a whimper gets out before she can stop it. She hears footsteps and then…silence.

“Hello?”

_Humiliation._

Coley keeps her mouth shut, lungs burning as she tries not to make a sound. Knuckles rap against the locked door and she winces.

“I know you’re in there,” the voice is gentle, no malice behind it and Coley feels her heart flutter in hope.  
“I heard you crying. I just wanted to check if you were okay?”

A pause.

“You’re the new girl, right? Chloe? We’re in the same homeroom.”

Coley lets her hands fall away from her face, croaks out a broken “Coley,” heart racing as she wonders if that was the right thing to do. 

“Oh! Sorry!” the voice sounds sheepish and Coley allows herself a small smile.  
“Um…can I come in, maybe?”

 _No!_ she wants to yell. It sits heavy in her throat, but something in her keeps it in. She pushes herself onto wobbly doe legs and turns the lock, opens the door just a crack so that she can just peek out.  
She recognises the girl. Dark eyes and soft hair. Clothes that actually fit, obviously new and in fashion. She’s pretty. Popular.

Coley wants to slam the door in her face.

But then the girl is pushing past her into the stall, squishing Coley to the side so that she can gain access.  
She locks the door again herself, and turns to the other girl.

“C’mon, sit down,” she urges, smile gentle, unthreatening, like her voice.

Coley is too shocked to do anything but what she’s told, slumping against the toilet seat as she watches the other girl rolling up cheap, public school toilet paper.

Then she’s right there, in Coley’s space, dabbing at her face with the slightly rough tissue, cleaning her up like a mother would her crying baby.

“It’s okay,” she coos, and Coley almost feels insulted, but somehow, she _knows_ that this girl is genuine.

“I know it’s hard,” she continues, “to start over in a new place, no friends, no familiarity.”  
She sounds older than she is, strangely wise, and Coley nods slowly.

“But you have me now,” she grins and Coley feels it like a spear to the heart.

“I’m Sonya, by the way. You can consider me your first new friend,” and then she wraps her arms around Coley’s shoulders and everything in her body immediately stops working. Coley doesn’t like being touched, but somehow this feels…okay.

She expects Sonya to leave after that, but she sits in the bathroom with Coley and talks to her until the bell rings for next period. She walks Coley to her next class, and waves her through the door, yelling a quick, “Bye Coley! See you later, okay?” that makes everyone turn in her direction. Coley feels embarrassed, but smiles shyly and waves back anyway.

***

Sonya is strange, Coley finds. She has friends, quite a few actually, a group of smirking, lip-glossed mean girls that bring vodka to school in their water bottles and wear skirts _just_ on the wrong side of the dress code. But Sonya doesn’t do those things, and it makes Coley wonder how she fits in so well, why everyone seems to like her.

She makes Coley sit with her at lunch. The other girls give her looks of disdain and poorly concealed once overs and politely ask Sonya who the hell this weird girl is. 

“She’s Coley,” Sonya smiles, as if that’s all she needs to say. They don’t question her again.

None of the other girls really like her but they all worship Sonya, in a hateful, jealous sort of way, and so they tolerate her hanging around them.

Sonya talks to her. She doesn’t get bothered when Coley doesn’t know how to respond, just squeezes her hand where it sits between them reassuringly and continues on.

She’s amazing.

Coley can’t understand why Sonya wants her of all people as a friend, but they grow closer and she can’t bring herself to care too much.

Sonya invites her to stay the night and Coley’s mother is so surprised, so annoyingly relieved, she lets her go without hesitation.

The first time Sonya calls Coley her best friend, she feels it like a punch in the gut. 

_Best friend?_ She floats the rest of the day, glowing.

***

Years pass and they never separate, Sonya never leaves her and the admiration Coley feels for her turns to adoration and then to something more.

Sonya shares her clothes, does Coley’s makeup. People start noticing her. But she’ll never shine as brightly as Sonya does. Who could?

They both get drunk for the first time when they’re 15, giggling and wrinkling their noses at the burn the cheap wine leaves as they lay together in Coley’s bedroom, too close to be friendly, but they’re both warm with fuzzy minds and they pretend not to notice. 

They share their first cigarette two weeks later, laughing at each other choke and cough as they sit in the tree house in Sonya’s back yard, and Coley tries not to think about how her lips are in the exact same place Sonya’s were moments before.

Sonya starts giving her strange looks when they have sleepovers, in the dark of night her eyes change and it makes something in Coley stir.

Then Trenton becomes a part of their lives. 

Sonya is 16, a blushing virgin. He’s 18, and certainly not.

Coley wants to like him.  
She can’t.

She hates the way Trenton touches Sonya, rough on her hips and possessive and ugly. Sonya isn’t made to be held that way. She's made for soft hands, a gentle touch.

Sonya calls her four months into their relationship, crying.

“Please come over,” she says, and Coley can’t refuse her anything.

“We had sex,” Sonya tells her half an hour later, sucking on a cigarette, face wet, eyes bloodshot.  
“Oh,” Coley says after a moment, taking the smoke when it’s passed to her. Something like disgust curls in her belly and she takes a drag to keep her breath even.  
“I don’t really get it.”  
“What’s that?”  
“Everyone wants it, we’re all obsessed with it, but it wasn’t good. It didn’t feel good. It felt dirty,” and she hiccups on another sob.

 _I could make you feel good,_ flashes across Coley’s mind and she feels nausea rising in her throat.

“You don’t have to, you know. Have sex with him, I mean,” she says instead and feels stupid.  
Sonya smiles but it doesn’t reach her eyes, and looks away.

Coley hates him.

They’re 17 and Sonya’s parents go out of town for the weekend. Trenton insists on spending the time at her place, partying, drinking.  
Sonya invites Coley to stay too, and even though she doesn’t want to be around Trenton, Sonya sounds desperate, and since when could Coley refuse her anything.

We all know what happens after that.

***

Coley hisses at the pain in her face as Sonya rubs gently against her scrapes with a cotton ball soaked in antiseptic.

“Don’t be a baby,” Sonya tuts, and if her fingers linger a bit too long on Coley’s split lips, well, _she _isn’t going to say anything.__

__It’s late in the afternoon. Trenton left with a broken face and wrecked ego, screaming at Coley, calling them freaks._ _

__“I’ve never lost myself like that,” she whispers and leans into Sonya’s touch, “I didn’t even know what I was doing.”_ _

__Sonya smiles her soft smile, gentle, dark eyes happy once again._ _

__“It’s okay Coley. I know you,” she murmurs back, “I know you.”_ _

__She throws the cotton ball across the kitchen, misses the trashcan, doesn’t move to pick it up._ _

__“Besides,” Sonya grins up at her where she sits on the counter, wriggles her eyebrows “it was kinda hot.”  
Coley throws her head back and laughs and laughs, tension leaving her body._ _

__“God, even all cut up, you’re so beautiful.”_ _

__It makes Coley pause, makes her face heat and she doesn’t know how to respond, but Sonya _knows_ her, and simply says, “Stay the night?”_ _

__Coley nods. She knows her mom won’t mind._ _

__Sonya lends her pyjamas and they change in her room. It feels weird. Coley’s seen Sonya in varying states of undress throughout the years, and yet now, it’s different._ _

__It’s different because she knows that she can _have_ Sonya like that now. Knows Sonya wants her too._ _

__It’s strange, so she keeps her eyes on the mirror above Sonya’s dresser as she pulls on a pair of soft shorts, stares at the dinosaur bandaid Sonya stuck over the gash above her eyebrow._ _

__“Coley?”_ _

__She turns and Sonya’s dressed, smiling, uncertain. She feels the same way Coley does, and it helps to calm the beating of her heart._ _

__“Sonya,” she breathes in return and makes her way over to the bed._ _

__They lay together for a while, talking, smiling, close, _closer_._ _

__Sonya kisses her again and she’s flying high._ _

__It’s late and the fairy lights bathe them in a warm glow. Sonya gets up and selects a playlist on her laptop, lets it flow.  
The music is soft, pretty, like her._ _

__“Dance for me,” the words come out of Coley’s mouth before she can think them through, and she blushes scarlet as Sonya looks over her shoulder at her, eyes dark and deep and smiling._ _

__She raises her arms above her head, runs her hands through her hair and starts swaying her hips in a way that makes Coley’s head fuzzy.  
The way she moves, the way she looks, has Coley squirming discreetly. God, her gaze is burning, searing Coley’s mind, and then Sonya is straddling her lap._ _

__Coley gasps and brings her hands up to cup Sonya’s jaw. Her hips dip low, and she whispers, “Touch me.”_ _

__And so Coley does, hands soft at her waist, dipping to thumb at the points of her hipbones, rising under her shirt, skating the underside of her breast._ _

__Sonya watches her face the whole time._ _

__She’s so warm and pliant in Coley’s lap, and Coley’s so in love it’s stupid._ _

__“I wish I could explain your eyes,” she breathes and Sonya just looks at her for a moment before bringing her mouth down to Coley’s, kissing her like she kissed her the first time, desperate and deep and so achingly relieved. She pushes Coley back on the bed, slots a knee between her thighs and hooks her other leg over Coley’s hip._ _

__Coley gasps into Sonya’s mouth as she grinds down against her, the feeling new and _good_ , almost overwhelming but mouth wateringly sweet._ _

__Sonya moans, pretty and high and Coley thinks that she’s never heard a better sound._ _

__A push and a pull and Sonya latches onto her neck and they _move_ until Coley sees stars and fireworks and all things good, and Sonya swears, keens against her throat as her body tenses, and then goes limp in Coley’s arms._ _

__They roll and pull each other close, breathe each other in as the music touches their senses, the lights make them sleepy._ _

__“I love you.”_ _

__“I’ve always loved you.”_ _

__And once again, Sonya has changed Coley’s life forever._ _

**Author's Note:**

> Oh Wonder - Technicolour Beat (Urban Contact Remix) is what Sonya was dancing to incase you were wondering. Have a gay day.


End file.
